6 Common Problems We Face
By Ho Shee Wai
Director/Registered Psychologist
6 Common Problems We Face
As we ring in the new year, we have the tendency to come up with resolution which we never keep. Instead, why don’t we look at what are the 6 common problems people face and find out how counselling can help us to get through them.
We all face problems in life. Often, we feel overwhelmed by life and what problems it brings. let's look at 6 common problems people face and what we can do about it:
Time
Conflict
Shyness
Patience
Communication
Money
Problem 1: "I wish I had more time”
Everyone has the same 24 hours. Why do some people seemingly more able to do all that they want while others struggled? Time management is a problem that affects many of us, personally and professionally. While we all sprout the mantra of prioritizing, this is really about making choices. What do I value and is what I am choosing to do in line with what I value? For example, if I value my relationship but I’m spending my time at work, I am not aligning with my value.
Solution: Be clear about what it is that you see is the purpose and meaning of your life, take action, and spend your time on things that are in accordance to your values. Reflect on what do you wish you had more time for. This will help you identify the gaps in your life. Do a time audit to see what you are spending your time on and decide if that needs to change.
Problem 2: "No matter what I do there's always conflict"
Conflict is natural and happens in every relationship. Conflict happens when 2 people take the opposing view or stance. In this instance, there are 3 possible moves we can make, we can do it our way, we can do it the other person’s way, or we come up with a compromise that incorporate both perspectives. Sounds simple and logical? Only when emotions are not involved. Often, we avoid conflicts because either we, or the other person, or both gets upset.
Solution: In your relationship, try to see from the other person’s perspective and see what you can agree with and be on board for. Search for common or shared goals in this disagreement. The goal is to move so that the 2 of you are on the same side.
Problem 3: "I'm too shy or scared to try new things"
It’s part of human survival to be weary of new people or new things. If we don't know how something will turn out, we may rather not try because the outcome could be bad. Neuroscience has shown that uncertainty feels similar to failure in our brains. Trying something new becomes a risk.
Solution: It is important to try new things. It keeps our brain “young” and our relationship fresh and interesting. Know that it is normal to be anxious when faced with new things, but physiologically fear and excitement feels the same physically in our body. Use this feeling as energy to help you take the step.
Problem 4: “I don’t have enough patience”
We feel impatience when we are overwhelmed with tasks or life, or when we feel rushed or pressed for time. Patience is having faith that what is meant for you will be. It’s about learning how to wait, learning how to be still, how to trust, how to recognize the world outside of your own life, how to have faith.
Solution: Try to look at the big picture and think whether what we are being impatient about matters in the long run or have big enough consequences for our lives. Think about whether we have control over what’s happening, take a breath and let go if it’s not within our control. Know that everything has its place and time.
Problem 5: "I can't get my point across clearly"
Often people choose to think as they speak, hoping that they’ll get to the point eventually. However, the problem with this approach is that as you’re getting lost in your thoughts. Additionally, when things are important to us, we become emotional and the flood of emotions prevent us from expressing ourselves well. Sometimes the issue also becomes personal which stop us from being calm.
Solution: Take a step and put some distance between yourself and what you are trying to say. Focus on the main point, think through the logic of your explanation, and keep it as clear and concise as possible. Do not be distracted by the reactions of the other person. If necessary, ask for space for you to complete what you are saying before the other person respond.
Problem 6: “I don’t have enough money”
The financial problem a lot of people face is less about money than their attitude towards money. most money problems are rooted in self-esteem, trauma recovery, or scarcity mindset issues.
Solution: Getting to the root of your money problem is essential for you to get out this cycle of money problem. Perhaps it's not that you're not good with money, but your parents weren't, and you are repeating those patterns. Or maybe you struggle with self-esteem, and spending money is how you compensate for that feeling of not being good enough.
Getting counselling support
The good news about getting through these common problems is that you don’t have to do it alone. A Psychologist, Counsellor or Psychotherapist is able to journey with you and hold you accountable to solve these problems. The Psychologist, Counsellor, or Psychotherapist can also teach you strategies and skills to navigate these problems. There may also be underlying issues or past traumas that can make it hard to you to resolve these common issues easily. Consulting with a profession psychologist, counsellor, or psychotherapist who are trained in uncovering these issues and traumas will help you to overcome these problems. Why not start the new year by working on these common problems with a Psychologist, Counsellor, or Psychotherapist from The Counselling Place.