What are Positive Affirmations and How Can They Help Me?
by Natasha Larkin
Counsellor / Parenting Coach / Career Coach
Have you thought of using affirmations before? What is an affirmation and how is it going to help me?
The word affirmation is derived from the verb ‘affirm’ – to state that something is true.
‘Everyday Health’ explains that affirmations are “short phrases you can repeat to change the way you think and feel about yourself” and shares Jennifer Lopez’s affirmation through her tweet: “I am whole, I am good on my own, I love myself, ” as well as Michelle Obama’s: “Am I good enough? Yes, I am.”
When should you think about using an affirmation? The first time I was motivated by an affirmation is when I found Jessica’s affirmations on my YouTube feed. It made me smile and want to do the same to start my day.
Some days, it is hard for you to believe in yourself and think positively so they can help then but I found if you use them before you get to the that point, it reduces the amount of times you feel down on yourself. You may have noticed that your self esteem is low. Or you might be going through a crisis right now? The idea is the more we repeat these affirmation statements and the more we have these positive thoughts, the easier it can be to have these thoughts again in the future. So why not now try them and see if it makes a difference short term and long term.
Recommended three steps:
Step 1: Say your affirmations out loud:
Say your affirmations out loud every day and repeat, repeat and repeat. Use present tense. Over time, it will become more of a habit.
Step 2: Write them down:
Write them down to help with the repeating message. If you have a journal, that’s ideal. If not, you can text them to yourself, use a post-it note for a visual or look in front of the mirror.
Step 3: Visualise them:
As you say them, visualise yourself living in a positive state.
If you need help to start, you can find affirmations that inspire others. Here are some examples and reference points:
I am worthy.
I am capable of achieving my goals.
I am loved.
I am grateful for what I have.
I am resilient.
I am strong.
I am confident.
I am deserving of happiness.
I am in control of my thoughts and feelings.
I am making progress.
I am making a difference.
I am worthy of a fulfilling career.
I am worthy of good things in life.
I am worthy of achieving my dreams.
I am worthy of making mistakes and learning from them.
I am worthy of taking care of myself.
I am worthy of having a fulfilling life.
I am worthy of being happy.
I am worthy of being successful.
I am worthy of being loved.
I am valuable.
If this feels uncomfortable, a good affirmation is or "I am fine just the way I am."
You might ask yourself why do this weird moment each day? Through repetition of affirming statements, the brain can form new pathways which can create connections to these repeated thoughts. Essentially, strengthening these pathways makes it easier for the mind to return to these positive statements and thinking patterns rather than falling back into negative thinking. Our brains are wired for negative bias so trying to block that or reset that is ideal. One may consider repeated information as true statements rather than just hearing it one time. Essentially, repetition contributes to the ease of self-related processing which creates a pathway of true belief.
‘The Psychology of Change: Self-Affirmation and Social Psychological Intervention’ by Geoffrey L. Cohen and David K. Sherma describes the intervention of timely affirmations have been shown to improve education, health, and relationship outcomes, with benefits that sometimes persist for months and years. They can be used for self-improvement, motivation, or to reinforce beliefs. It is important to note there is no guarantee this will work and is the right activity for you. While affirmations have shown promise in many areas, they are not without criticism. Some argue that affirmations can lead to unrealistic expectations. Others point out that for individuals with very low self-esteem, positive affirmations might initially feel uncomfortable. If this is the case, then a different tool is recommended. If you are challenged by a number of issues in your life, then seeking other interventions such as counselling is a good step. You can slowly start to reshape those patterns and improve your day-to-day mindset.
Affirmations share some similarities with the act of giving compliments to others which feels good and has powerful affects on mental health. Compliments, like affirmations, can boost self-esteem, improve mood, and strengthen relationships. In a sense, giving a genuine compliment is like offering an affirmation to someone else. Both practices involve recognising and verbalising positive qualities or actions.
Perhaps you are looking to reach a particular goal for yourself and want some positive reminders along the way about your inner strength and tenacity? Perhaps you need a skip in your step thanks to your low self esteem? Perhaps you want to make a change in your thoughts? Perhaps you are super stressed? You might use an affirmation to give yourself a little extra boost when facing a challenge or feeling down on yourself. Think about when you need a little boost. Right before work? Right before you go to bed? Figure out a routine you can do once a day and stick with that for a week. If it can help change your mood and feeling, then it’s a small part of your day to dedicate to an affirmation.
About the author
Natasha is an experienced counselor and life coach at The Counselling Place Singapore with over 18 years of international experience, Natasha has worked with diverse cultural backgrounds across Australia, Singapore, and the UAE. With expertise in human resources and life coaching spanning over 25 years, she specializes in stress management, career transition, and conflict resolution.
Guided by the philosophy that our past influences but does not dictate our future, Natasha empowers clients to overcome challenges, cope effectively, and embark on a path to happiness and personal growth. Her holistic approach nurtures lasting transformation.