Breathing Easy: Role-Modelling Stress Relief for Your Kids
by Nicholas Smith
Supervised Counsellor / Career Coach
Breathing Easy: Role-Modelling Stress Relief for Your Kids
As parents, we're often so focused on helping our children manage stress that we forget to care for ourselves. Learning and practising breathing techniques together helps the whole family build resilience for both parents and children and sparks opportunities for bonding moments. Here is an introduction to some of these techniques, with some ideas for how to guide your children to use them effectively.
Start With Yourself
Before teaching breathing techniques to your kids, practice them yourself. Children learn best by example and are more likely to engage with these exercises when they see you using them in your daily life from facing stage fright through to managing your daily wellbeing.
The Centred Breath provides a great starting point. Focus on breathing into your lower belly for 5 counts, then exhale slowly for 7 counts. Use this during your morning routine, while stuck in traffic, or before challenging meetings. When your children see you taking deliberate breaths during stressful moments, they learn that this is a normal, healthy way to cope with emotions.
Square Breathing offers another discrete technique you can use anywhere. Visualise tracing a square, breathing in for 4 counts along one side, holding for 4 counts, exhaling for 4 counts, and holding again for 4 counts. Practice this during work calls or while waiting in the school pickup line. Your calm presence will help your children feel more secure.
Teaching Through Play
Once you're comfortable with basic breathing techniques, introduce them to your children through play and imagination.
The Finger-Tracing Breath works brilliantly for both parents and kids. Demonstrate by holding up your hand with your fingers spread wide. Use your index finger to trace up the outside of your thumb while breathing in, then down while breathing out. Continue this pattern with each finger. This technique builds mindfulness through touch, sight, and breath awareness. Make it fun by drawing faces on your fingertips or creating stories about climbing up and sliding down mountains.
Another fun game, especially with younger family members, is to transform into animals together with the Bear Breath. Pretend you're a bear preparing for hibernation, breathing slowly and deeply. This technique naturally slows breathing rates and works especially well during bedtime routines. Your participation makes it more engaging and less like an exercise.
For younger children, introduce the Balloon Breath. Have them lie down and place their favourite stuffed animal on their belly. As they inhale through their nose, they watch their toy rise with its balloon belly, and as they exhale through their mouth, they feel it fall. Join them on the floor with your own stuffed animal to make it a shared experience.
Supporting Teens
Teenagers might resist obviously playful techniques, but they'll often engage when they see you genuinely using these methods yourself. Share how you use breathing exercises during your own stressful moments, like before important presentations or during busy workdays or getting ready for a job interview.
Even a simple deep breath activity can help your teen during a patch of anxiety.
Building a Family Practice
Some idea to create opportunities to practice together include:
Take three deep breaths as a family before meals
Do bedtime breathing routines together
Use breathing exercises during homework time
Practice during car rides or while waiting in lines
Benefits of Family Breathing Practice
When families practice breathing techniques together, they develop stronger emotional bonds through shared experiences of vulnerability and growth. These moments of synchronized breathing create neurological connections between family members, releasing oxytocin—often called the "bonding hormone"—which strengthens feelings of trust and security. Children who regularly practice breathing with their parents often feel more understood and supported, even during challenging times.
Better communication during stressful times emerges naturally when families share breathing practices. By establishing a common language around emotional regulation, family members can more effectively express their needs during conflicts. Anyone can suggest a breathing break without shame or judgment when tensions rise. This shared understanding creates a foundation for healthier discussions, as everyone can access the same calming techniques before addressing difficult topics.
Shared tools for managing anxiety become particularly valuable as children grow and face increasingly complex challenges. Children learning breathing techniques alongside their parents are more likely to internalise these strategies as legitimate, effective responses to stress. Children who learn stress-management techniques within the family context can be more likely to apply these tools independently when facing anxiety at school or with peers.
Improved sleep habits develop for the entire family through consistent breathing practice. The physiological effects of deep breathing—lowered heart rate, decreased blood pressure, and increased melatonin production—create optimal conditions for restful sleep. Families who practice evening breathing routines together often report falling asleep more quickly and experiencing deeper, more restorative sleep throughout the night. For children with sleep resistance or anxiety, the security of a shared family routine can be particularly beneficial.
Enhanced emotional awareness grows naturally through regular breathing practice, as these exercises create space for family members to notice and name their feelings. Children develop greater emotional intelligence when they can connect physical sensations (like a racing heart or tight chest) with specific emotions and appropriate responses. Parents who model this awareness through their own breathing practice help children understand that all emotions—even difficult ones—are normal and manageable with the right tools.
Some tips to make it a part of the family routine
Model the behaviour first - let your children see you using these techniques
Start with short sessions (2-3 minutes)
Make it playful and age-appropriate
Create regular practice times that work for your family schedule
Celebrate moments when family members use these techniques successfully
Remember that learning to manage stress through breathing is a journey for the whole family. Some techniques will work better than others, and that's okay. The goal is to build a toolkit of strategies that each family member can use when needed.
By practising these techniques together, you're not just teaching your children valuable life skills - you're also taking care of your own stress management needs. This dual approach creates a more resilient, emotionally balanced family environment where everyone has the tools they need to handle life's challenges.
To learn more about how breathwork can transform your day and help your children thrive, reach out to the team at The Counselling Place. Our multilingual counsellors are experienced in helping adults, children, and families achieve their potential through family therapy, play therapy and individual therapy.
About the author
Nicholas is a compassionate counsellor at The Counselling Place Singapore, who empowers individuals, couples, and families to navigate life's challenges. With a background in corporate leadership and expatriate experience, he understands the complexities of cultural transitions and personal growth.
Nicholas offers a safe and non-judgmental space for clients to explore their strengths and resilience, and discover a path towards wellness and self-awareness.