Self-Esteem, how it impacts our lives and how to improve it
by Kim Bartholdi
Clinical Psychologist
Self-Esteem, how it impacts our lives and how to improve it
Do you every feel low in confidence? Do you have a negative image of yourself? Or perhaps you compare yourself to others. Maybe it is the other way around and you think you are as good or better than your peers. All of this has to do with self-esteem.
Self-esteem is a crucial aspect of psychological well-being, encompassing the beliefs and feelings we hold about ourselves. It affects our relationships, decision-making processes, and overall mental health. Understanding the psychology behind self-esteem can shed light on its development, its impact on our lives, and the ways we can cultivate a healthier self-concept.
Ok, but what is Self-Esteem?
At its core, self-esteem refers to the evaluation we make of ourselves—how valuable or worthwhile we perceive ourselves to be. This evaluation is influenced by various factors, including social experiences, communication in early childhood, and personal achievements. Self-esteem is often categorized into two dimensions: healthy (or high) self-esteem, where individuals possess a positive view of themselves, and low self-esteem, characterized by feelings of inadequacy or even worthlessness.
How does Self-Esteem develop?
The foundations of self-esteem are typically laid in childhood. Influential figures such as parents or main care takers, teachers, and peers play significant roles in shaping an individual's self-perception. For instance, children who receive consistent encouragement and validation often develop a strong sense of self-worth, while those subjected to criticism or neglect may struggle with low self-esteem. Similarly, cultural and societal standards also affect self-esteem; and so it happens that individuals often measure their worth against external benchmarks, such as physical appearance, career success, and social status.
What are the consequences of Self-Esteem Levels?
Self-esteem has profound implications for mental health and behaviour. High self-esteem is generally associated with a more positive outlook on life, resilience in facing challenges, and healthier relationships. On one hand, individuals with high self-esteem are more likely to take on new challenges, assert themselves, and express their needs and feelings constructively.
On the other hand, low self-esteem can lead to a host of psychological issues, including anxiety, depression, and social withdrawal. Individuals with low self-esteem may struggle with self-doubt, be overly critical of themselves, and avoid situations that might expose their perceived inadequacies. This can lead to them not pursuing on new challenges that could be beneficial for them further along the line. This negative mindset can create a vicious cycle, where avoidance reinforces feelings of unworthiness, further diminishing self-esteem.
What can be done to improve Self-Esteem?
Psychologists have researched self-esteem for many years and in their clinical work they will often help people improve their self-esteem in a variety of ways. Here I give you a quick insight in the clinical work of self-esteem therapy.
1. Challenging Negative Thoughts
One of the most significant barriers to healthy self-esteem is negative beliefs and consequential negative self-talk. Our minds often play tricks on us, leading to distorted views of ourselves. In their practice, psychologists practice with their clients a technique called cognitive restructuring, which involves identifying these negative thoughts and systematically challenging them. By reframing these thoughts into more balanced perspectives, you can begin to shift your mindset.
2. Setting Realistic Goals
Setting and achieving small, realistic goals can enhance your sense of accomplishment and worthiness. Therapists (psychologists, counsellors, or psychotherapists) recommend using the SMART goal setting technique—Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound—when establishing your goals. Start with achievable tasks, whether it’s completing a project at work or simply organizing your living space. Each completed goal reinforces your capability and contributes positively to your self-image.
3. Practice Self-Compassion
Self-compassion is the practice of treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer a friend. Therapists emphasize the importance of recognizing that everyone makes mistakes and faces challenges. Instead of harshly criticizing yourself, try to respond with compassion and support. Acknowledging your feelings without judgment can lead to greater emotional resilience and improved self-esteem.
4. Surround Yourself with Positive People
The company you keep can significantly impact your self-esteem. Engaging with supportive, positive individuals can help reinforce your self-worth. Seek relationships where you feel valued and appreciated, and consider joining groups or communities that inspire growth and support.
5. Engage in Positive Affirmations
Positive affirmations are statements that can help challenge and overcome negative thoughts. Psychologists suggest creating a list of affirmations that resonate with you personally, such as “I am capable,” “I am deserving of happiness,” or “I believe in myself.” Repeat these affirmations daily, particularly during moments of self-doubt. Over time, these positive declarations can help reshape your self-image and bolster self-esteem.
6. Embrace Failure as a Learning Opportunity
Fear of failure can cripple self-esteem. It’s essential to shift your perspective on failure; rather than viewing it as a reflection of your worth, see it as an opportunity for growth. In their clinical work, therapists encourage individuals to analyse what went wrong and what can be learned from the experience. This resilient attitude fosters a growth mindset and empowers you to take risks without the weight of perfectionism.
7. Practice Self-Care
Taking care of your physical and mental health can significantly impact your self-esteem. Regular exercise, a balanced diet, adequate sleep, and mindfulness practices like meditation can boost your mood and overall sense of well-being. When you prioritize self-care, you send a message to yourself that you are worthy of attention and care.
In conclusion, self-esteem plays a vital role in shaping our psychological landscape. Improving self-esteem is a process that takes time and effort, but it is entirely achievable with the help of a professional. By understanding its complexities and engaging in strategies for improvement,
individuals can cultivate a healthier self-image, leading to enhanced emotional well-being and fulfilment in life. Recognizing that self-esteem is not static, but rather a dynamic and malleable aspect of our identity, empowers us to take proactive steps towards self-improvement. Remember, your worth is inherent, and taking steps to recognize and celebrate that worth is a vital part of the journey to improved self-esteem.
