by Nicholas Smith
Supervised Counsellor / Career Coach

Helping Your Child Better Understand How Time Works

Time can be an abstract concept for children to understand, but it is essential for everything from daily routines to long-term planning. As parents, we can help our children develop healthier relationships with time.

Our first inklings of time

We start forming a picture of how time works early in our lives. Those early months might feel like a timeless blur of random feedings and diaper changes for parents with babies, but a child is already beginning to develop the building blocks of time perception. Research shows that even in those first months, babies start recognising patterns in their daily experiences. By around eight months, they can detect sequences of events - like a diaper change followed by a feed, or a bath leading to bedtime. This ability grows more sophisticated: by 15 months, many children grasp the steps of simple routines, and by 22 months, they're beginning to understand the fundamental rhythm of day and night. These early temporal milestones form the foundation for more complex time concepts. However, just as every baby reaches physical milestones at their own pace, the development of time perception varies from child to child, with each following their unique developmental timeline.

Understanding Different Time Experiences

Children experience time differently, and this is particularly true for neurodivergent children. Research suggests that many neurodivergent individuals, particularly those with autism, may have a unique perception of time. A different way of seeing the world isn't a deficit – it's simply an alternate way of experiencing each day. Working memory, attention differences, and sensory processing affect how we experience time's passage.

Beyond "Five More Minutes"

Rather than relying on abstract time concepts like "five more minutes" (which means little to young children), we can explore time through experiences and senses. Ideally, that could mean sitting with your child as the sun sets and daylight dims, watching the morning rise, or enjoying warmth and cold as the seasons change or crispy leaves fall from the trees.

For those of us in equatorial Singapore, where artificial lights keep the city bright, we can instead create little rituals such as special music for different parts of the day (breakfast jazz or evening piano, perhaps). Another suggestion is using a marker for an important daily transition, like asking children to help put down dinner plates to show that the regular evening meal is coming.

Another time-tested ritual is bedtime stories and nursery rhymes (a bedtime routine is also a great example of how regular schedules can help improve our sleep patterns).  

Often, as parents, we rely on "five more minutes" as a thing to say when kids need to wrap up whatever they are doing. We can make it a lot less abstract by saying, "Do what you're doing five more times before we leave", offering a chance to take five more hugs with friends or five more jumps in the pool.  For young kids, can be easier to grasp concrete numbers, and that may make the transition to leave smoother – and if they quickly decide to go extremely slowly and outsmart your plan, you can always tell them, "I guess you don't want to use up all your goes" and speed them up again! Of course, this depends on the child's development and character, and for some activities, it could be more or less than five more turns.

The Time-Emotion Connection

If you have ever wondered why a boring car ride feels endless but good times zoom by quickly, it's because our perception of time is deeply linked to our emotional state. Help your child recognise these variations in time perception - it can be a fun game to explore different parts of the day, and it helps equip children to handle the ups and downs of a day.

Age-Appropriate Time Understanding

For preschoolers, the world of time centres on "now" and "not now." At this age, focus on daily rhythms and routines. Picture schedules and simple countdowns can make time more tangible.

As children enter early elementary years, they begin grasping "before" and "after." This is the perfect time to introduce simple timers and discuss how different activities take different amounts of time.

From the ages of eight onwards, many children begin to develop a more sophisticated understanding of time. They can begin breaking down longer projects and understanding how time planning affects outcomes. This is when calendars and basic scheduling start making sense.

When children become teenagers, they are often ready to explore different time management tools and discuss how time perception affects their choices. They can understand procrastination and begin developing personalised strategies for handling time pressure.

Making Time Tangible - Some Ideas

The Time Jar Exercise can help children understand time allocation. Fill a jar with rocks (representing essential tasks), pebbles (important activities), and water (free time). This visual representation helps children understand how time fills up and why we need to prioritise how we use time each day.

Time Detective is another fun activity; have children estimate how long different activities take and then compare that to their estimates. This builds time estimation skills and helps them understand their personal time patterns. They might be surprised to discover that Mum or Dad popping to the shops to grab a carton of milk takes as long as a favourite cartoon, for example.

Personal Time Landscapes

Every child has their own "time universe" – activities and moments that make time feel different. Some children lose track of time while reading, others while playing sports or making art. Understanding these personal time landscapes helps children develop self-awareness about their time experiences.

Help your child explore their time patterns by asking questions like: "When does time feel fastest for you?" "What makes time feel slow?" "How does time feel different at school versus at home?"

It’s also important to role-model the importance of having down time too.

When Time Feels Challenging

Watch for signs that your child might be struggling with time concepts. These might include constant rushing, anxiety about deadlines, difficulty with transitions, or strong reactions to schedule changes. Remember that these challenges often reflect normal developmental stages or different ways of experiencing time rather than problems to be fixed.

There's no one-size-fits all approach to time

Perhaps the most valuable lesson we can teach our children about time is that everyone experiences it differently. There's no one-size-fits-all approach to time management. By helping our children understand their personal relationship with time, we empower them to develop strategies that work for their unique needs.

Teaching time management isn't about forcing rigid schedules or creating perfect planners. It's about helping our children understand how they experience time and giving them tools to navigate their temporal world effectively.

If you would like to explore more about helping your child find a way to understand time in their daily life, get in touch with us at The Counselling Place. Through patience, understanding, and creative approaches, we can help your child develop a healthy relationship with time that will serve them throughout their lives.

About the author

Nicholas is a compassionate counsellor at The Counselling Place Singapore, who empowers individuals, couples, and families to navigate life's challenges. With a background in corporate leadership and expatriate experience, he understands the complexities of cultural transitions and personal growth.

Nicholas offers a safe and non-judgmental space for clients to explore their strengths and resilience, and discover a path towards wellness and self-awareness.