by Jumh Tantri
Counsellor / Career Coach / Parenting Coach

The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace: Enhancing Employee Engagement and Wellbeing

Do you feel appreciate in your workplace? Appreciation gives you M&M (Motivation & Mental Well-being)!

Appreciation in the workplace is vital to employee satisfaction, motivation, and mental wellbeing. When employees feel valued and recognized for their contributions, they are more engaged, productive, and committed to the organization. However, the manner/way in which appreciation is expressed varies from person to person. Just as individuals have different preferences for how they receive love and affection in their personal lives, they also differ in how they prefer to be appreciated at work. Dr. Gary Chapman and Dr. Paul White introduced the concept of the "5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace" to help leaders and colleagues understand how to show appreciation in ways that resonate with different people. These languages are words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, tangible gifts, and physical touch. This article explores each of these languages, their impact on workplace culture, and how understanding them can enhance employee engagement and wellbeing.

1. Words of Affirmation: The Power of Verbal Recognition

For some employees, verbal recognition is the most powerful and meaningful form of appreciation. Words of affirmation involve giving genuine, positive feedback, either in person or in writing, that recognizes an employee’s contributions, skills, or efforts. Whether delivered in a private conversation or in front of peers during a team meeting, verbal recognition can have a significant impact on motivation and morale.

Words of affirmation can take many forms. Simple, direct expressions such as "thank you," "great job," or "I appreciate your hard work" are effective ways to acknowledge an employee's efforts. More specific and detailed affirmations, like "I really admire the way you handled that client," or "Your attention to detail has made a huge difference in this project," show that the person’s contributions are truly noticed and valued. Public recognition, such as praising an employee during a meeting or in a company-wide email, can further amplify the impact of these affirmations, though it’s important to recognize that not everyone prefers public praise.

One key to effectively using words of affirmation is to ensure that they are sincere and specific. Generic or forced compliments can come across as disingenuous and may even demotivate employees. When employees sense that their manager is simply going through the motions, the words lose their impact. On the other hand, specific and heartfelt affirmations help build trust, strengthen relationships, and make employees feel seen and valued.

2. Quality Time: The Importance of Focused Attention

Some employees feel most appreciated when they receive quality time from their supervisors, managers, or colleagues. Quality time refers to giving someone your full, undivided attention—engaging in meaningful conversations, actively listening, and spending time together in a way that demonstrates that their presence and input matter. In a workplace where schedules are often packed and attention is divided across multiple tasks, giving quality time can be a particularly powerful way of showing appreciation.

This language of appreciation is often expressed through one-on-one meetings, mentoring sessions, or even casual conversations during breaks. Employees who value quality time may appreciate the opportunity to connect with their supervisors on a personal level, discuss their career development, or share their thoughts and concerns about the workplace. Regular check-ins or informal lunches can also foster a deeper sense of connection and belonging, making employees feel that their time and presence are important to the organization.

In a virtual or hybrid work environment, quality time can be offered through virtual meetings, video calls, or online coffee breaks. The key is to be present and attentive, avoiding distractions like emails or multitasking during the conversation. This focused attention helps employees feel valued and respected, knowing that their manager or colleague is truly engaged with them.

3. Acts of Service: Showing Appreciation Through Action

For employees who value acts of service, actions speak louder than words. Acts of service involve doing something helpful or thoughtful for a colleague to make their job easier or show that you care about their workload and well-being. This could mean offering assistance with a challenging task, helping to solve a problem, or even taking on some of their responsibilities during a particularly stressful period.

In the workplace, acts of service might involve a manager stepping in to assist with a time-sensitive project, a colleague offering to help with administrative tasks, or a team member volunteering to support someone who is feeling overwhelmed. These gestures demonstrate that you recognize and appreciate the employee's efforts and are willing to contribute to their success.

The key to acts of service is that they should be offered voluntarily and with genuine intent. If the act of service is perceived as an obligation or is done begrudgingly, it can lose its meaning. On the other hand, when an act of service is performed out of kindness and respect, it can have a profound impact on how employees feel about their work and their place within the organization.

4. Tangible Gifts: Thoughtful Tokens of Appreciation

For some employees, tangible gifts are the most meaningful expression of appreciation. Tangible gifts in the workplace do not have to be extravagant or expensive; rather, they should be thoughtful and personalized to the individual's interests or needs. A small token, such as a gift card to a favorite coffee shop, a book that aligns with the employee’s interests, or even a handwritten note of appreciation, can make a big difference in how appreciated someone feels.

The key to giving tangible gifts is personalization. A generic or impersonal gift may come across as obligatory and lack the emotional impact of a thoughtful, well-chosen one. For example, if an employee loves reading, a book on a topic they enjoy would show that you pay attention to their interests. Alternatively, if an employee is passionate about fitness, a subscription to a wellness app might be more meaningful.

Incorporating tangible gifts as part of a recognition program can be a fun and effective way to reward employees for their hard work and dedication. However, it's important to note that not all employees prioritize gifts as their primary language of appreciation. For some, tangible gifts may not hold the same emotional value as words of affirmation or quality time. As with any form of appreciation, understanding the individual preferences of each employee is key to ensuring that the gift has the intended effect.

5. Physical Touch: Appropriate Expressions of Support

The fifth language of appreciation, physical touch, is often the most nuanced and sensitive in a workplace setting. While physical touch can be an important way to express appreciation, it must be done with great care, always respecting personal boundaries and the professional environment. In the workplace, appropriate physical touch might include a handshake, a pat on the back, or a fist bump as a way to celebrate success or show camaraderie.

It’s important to note that physical touch should be consensual and appropriate for the culture and norms of the workplace. What might be considered acceptable in one environment could be perceived as intrusive or uncomfortable in another. Understanding the preferences of each employee is crucial when considering physical expressions of appreciation.

For some employees, physical touch may not be a primary or even desired form of appreciation. In these cases, other languages, such as words of affirmation or acts of service, may be more appropriate and effective. Ensuring that physical touch is always respectful and consensual is key to maintaining a positive and supportive workplace environment.

The Importance of Tailoring Appreciation to Individual Preferences

Understanding the 5 languages of appreciation in the workplace is not about applying a one-size-fits-all approach to employee recognition. Each individual has their own unique preferences for how they like to be appreciated, and what resonates with one employee may not resonate with another. By learning to recognize these differences and tailoring your expressions of appreciation accordingly, you can create a more inclusive and supportive work environment.

Incorporating the 5 languages of appreciation can also help managers build stronger relationships with their teams, foster a culture of respect and recognition, and ultimately improve employee retention and satisfaction. Employees who feel appreciated in ways that align with their personal preferences are more likely to remain engaged, motivated, and loyal to the organization.

Conclusion: The 5 languages of appreciation—words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, tangible gifts, and physical touch—offer a framework for understanding how to effectively express appreciation in the workplace. By recognizing and adapting to the diverse preferences of employees, organizations can create a positive culture that fosters motivation, engagement, and mental wellbeing. In the end, when employees feel truly valued and appreciated, they are more likely to thrive, contributing to the overall success of the organization.

About the author

Jumh Tantri is a multidisciplinary registered counsellor, career coach and parenting coach with expertise in parenting, career guidance, and mental health support. At The Counselling Place Singapore, Jumh works with diverse clients across various age groups and cultural backgrounds, offering sessions in English, Indonesian/Malay, Mandarin, Korean, and Japanese.

Jumh addresses issues such as anxiety, trauma, relationships, career development, and special needs. With over 9 years of experience, he fosters personal growth, improved relationships, and career fulfillment using evidence-based techniques.