by Anne Ueberbach
Assistant Director / Counsellor

The Rise of Late-Life Divorce

In recent years, there has been a significant increase in late-life divorce rates in high-income countries like Singapore. In Singapore, the number of divorces among people aged 60 and over has risen by 50% between 2008 and 2018. This trend is attributed to various factors, including:

• Increased life expectancy, leading to a desire for personal fulfillment and happiness

• Changing social norms and reduced stigma around divorce

• Greater financial independence among women

• Empty nest syndrome, where couples feel disconnected after their children leave home

Impacts of Late-Life Divorce on Men

Late-life divorce can have a profound impact on men, affecting their emotional, social, and financial well-being. Some common experiences include:

Emotional turmoil: Men may struggle with feelings of failure, guilt, and shame, particularly if they were the primary breadwinners.

Social isolation: Divorce can lead to a loss of social connections, as men may feel disconnected from their ex-partner's social network.

Financial stress: Men may face significant financial burdens, including property settlements, spousal maintenance, and child support.

Health concerns: Research suggests that divorced men are more likely to experience physical and mental health problems, such as depression and anxiety.

Impacts of Late-Life Divorce on Women

Women, on the other hand, may experience late-life divorce differently, with unique challenges and implications:

Financial insecurity: Women may face significant financial challenges, as they often have lower CPF  balances and earning potential.

Economic stability: Late-life divorce can have a significant impact on the economic stability of individuals, especially women. In Singapore, women are more likely to be financially dependent on their husbands, and divorce can lead to a significant decline in their standard of living ². Women may have to bear the burden of supporting themselves and their children, which can be a significant challenge, especially if they have been out of the workforce for a long time. In contrast, men may experience a smaller decline in their standard of living, as they are more likely to have a steady income and assets

Emotional resilience: Women tend to have stronger social support networks and may be more likely to seek help and support during the divorce process.

Custodial responsibilities: Late-life divorce can also have a significant impact on child-rearing. In Singapore, women are more likely to be the primary caregivers for their children, and divorce can lead to a significant increase in their childcare responsibilities ¹. Women may have to bear the burden of supporting their children financially and emotionally, which can be a significant challenge. In contrast, men may have less involvement in childcare and may be less affected by the divorce.

Sense of liberation: Women may experience a sense of freedom and empowerment after leaving an unhappy or unfulfilling marriage.

Future relationships: Late-life divorce can also have a significant impact on future relationships. In Singapore, men are more likely to remarry after a divorce, while women are less likely to do so ¹. This may be due to a variety of factors, including social and cultural norms, as well as the fact that men are more likely to have a steady income and assets. Women, on the other hand, may be more likely to focus on their children and their own personal growth, rather than seeking a new romantic relationship.

Similarities and Differences

While men and women experience late-life divorce differently, there are some commonalities:

• Grief and loss: Both men and women experience significant grief and loss during late-life divorce.

• Identity crisis: Divorce can lead to an identity crisis, as individuals question their sense of self and purpose.

• Fear of the future: Both men and women may fear the unknown and worry about their future, particularly in terms of financial security and social connections.

However, there are also significant differences:

• Social support: Women tend to have stronger social support networks and may be more likely to seek help and support.

• Financial security: Men tend to have greater financial security and earning potential, while women may face significant financial challenges.

• Future relationships: In Singapore, men are more likely to remarry after a divorce, while women statistically speaking are more focused on caring for and supporting their children.

Coping Strategies and Support

Late-life divorce can be a challenging and isolating experience. However, there are various coping strategies and support options available:

• Therapy and counseling: Individual therapy and couples therapy with a registered counsellor, psychologist or psychotherapist can help individuals process their emotions and develop coping strategies.

• Support groups: Joining a support group can provide a sense of community and connection with others who are experiencing similar challenges.

• Financial planning: Seeking professional financial advice can help individuals navigate property settlements and financial planning.

• Legal aid: It is always best practice to consult with a lawyer when undergoing a divorce to ensure a fair split of assets and custodial arrangements.

• Social connections: Building and maintaining social connections through hobbies, volunteering, and social activities can help individuals feel more connected and supported.