By Ho Shee Wai

Director / Registered Psychologist

Getting quality sleep is essential in childhood, yet research shows that as many as 20 to 30% of babies and toddlers have trouble sleeping. In addition to your child’s wellbeing, as parents, it is only when your child sleeps that finally you get to have your rest. Therefore, it’s extremely challenging and frustrating when your child is having sleep issues. Here are some common sleep issues scenario and what you can do.

Sleep Issues Scenarios

Scenario 1: My child has been sleeping in my bedroom and they are not ready for their own room. How do I prepare them emotionally for the big move?

For a successful transition, prepare and decorate the new room together with your kid. Incorporate their favourite character (e.g., spiderman, Elsa) or things (e.g., a car bed if they is into car or a princess bed). Have their favourite security toy or blanket within reach in the bed. Have them practice napping in that room and bed during day time and reward them for that.

Discuss the move/change as an exciting thing because they are a “big boy” or “big girl” now. Try to coincide with some significant event (e.g., birthday, starting school) so that it makes sense to them. If they are moving to the new room because of the arrival of a new sibling, ensure the move happen way before the arrival so that there is no resentment and they don’t link the move to that.

Scenario 2: Are there any nightly rituals you can suggest to make bedtime less of a hassle, now that they going to sleep in their own room?

To make bedtime less of the hassle, try to keep the ritual calm, starting from bath time.  Tucking them in and reading to them to help them sleep would be a good idea.  Have them put their toys to sleep one by one and finally them.  Have a chair, sit next to them until they fall asleep initially.  Reassure them that you’ll be there watching them sleep. Make it a challenge and see if they can sleep by count of 10 for example.

Scenario 3: What if my child wants to come back to my room in the middle of the night? How do I get them to stay put?

Discuss beforehand that it is the expectation that they’ll need to stay in their room if they happen to wake up in the middle of the night.  Have what they need ready next to their bed (e.g., water).  Teach them what they can do to entertain himself (why don’t you tell a story to your teddy bear). If they come back to the room.  Give them a kiss, remind them that we agree for them to sleep in their bed.  Walk them back to their room, put them in bed (without much discussion or speech), sit in the chair next to their bed until they fall asleep.  To help them stay put, some parents put a child safe gate so that the child doesn’t come out and sit on the floor next to the child safe gate until they return to bed and sleep.

Scenario 4: How do I handle their fear of sleeping alone? Especially if they wake in the middle of the night and feels disoriented when they can't see Mummy and Daddy?

Ensure there is sufficient night light.  Discuss what they can do if they are feeling bored / scared.  Just saying “don’t be scared” or “you’ll be ok” is not sufficient.  Teach them strategies they can use (e.g., sing a jingle to himself, play with their train set, have a magical token to help them feel safe / protected, etc.)

General Strategies to Ensure Good Sleep for Your Child

Bedtime Routine

To have a successful bedtime routine, ensure that at least 30 minutes before bedtime your child is engaging in activities that is already helping them to settle down. Reduce noisy and active games and stop screen time. Some parents incorporate bathtime with the bedtime routine which is helpful as it helps your child to get into a relax state. For bedtime routine, it is important for it to be done in the same order. Some suggestions include: Having a set bedtime, having a snack / drinking milk, brushing teeth, make a pee, putting on pajama, reading a book, talking about the day, massaging, singing a lullaby, goodnight kiss / cuddle, then lights off / night light on.

Sleep environment

Creating a sleep friendly environment is one of the first steps to create healthy sleep habits and support better sleep. Ensure your child is comfortable by having the bedroom quiet, dark if possible or dim (if using nightlight to use those is the red / orange spectrum), cool (the recommended temperature range for infants and children is 20-22 Celsius), and with comfortable bedding.

Eating

Ensure that your child is not eating food that can disturb their sleep like caffeine or sugar. Make sure that they are not too full or hungry from dinner which may mean you need to take a look at their dinner timing.

Physical activity

If your child does not have sufficient exercise or physical activities during the day it may makes it hard for them to settle down in the night. Playing out in natural light can help your child sleep better as it suppressed melatonin which help your child feel alert in the day and sleepy during the night.

Fear / Worry / Anxiety

Just like adult, having fears, worries, and anxieties can impact your child’s sleep. If you have incorporate talking about the day within your sleep routine, you can pick up on what might be in your child’s mind. For fears, worries, and anxieties that can be address quickly and immediately, discuss solution and action plan so that it’s out of their mind. If it’s not something that is easily resolved, reassure your child that we will look at solving it next day in the morning together, in the meantime it is important to get some sleep so that your brain can work better.

If you are facing sleep issues with your child, you may want to consider getting professional counselling and coaching support from our psychologist, counsellor, or parenting coach.