By Jumh Tantri

Career Coach & Counsellor

The first day of our journey into the workplace often leads us to experience a dynamic change in how we should interact, behave, and think subjective to the company's setting, especially its expectations of the employees, cultures, and possibly politics (both upfront and hidden agendas). To keep the job or have a harmonious relationship with your superiors and colleagues, you need to possess an emotional intelligence that not only keeps you safe from losing your job but also to work with colleagues who can be obnoxious, and opposite your character (MBTI, working style difference) and who you deem annoying and unacceptable in terms of not contributing according to how your worldview dictates how an employee should be behaving.

There are a lot of dos and don’ts that often derive from how an organization manages the company and how the company director sets the cultures for the employees to work around. If the company director is not actively involved (not so micromanaging) in keeping the team morale and attitude in shape and good attitude, employees will form cliques especially the seniors who used to hate each other also be ally for show. That is the beginning of politics where gossip spreads and often causes some innocents to lose the rights of employees despite not knowing what is happening. As a result of that, it breeds company bullies that interfere with the positive culture a company should be adopting where everyone cares for each other genuinely by giving feedback to each other to strive to be better instead of gossiping behind each other back and hijacking their growth in the company.

Importance of saying No

For one to stay sane and productive, it is important to understand the importance of saying "no" at the appropriate time with respect so that you will not be taken advantage of. Most people would often struggle to say no to requests especially coming from superiors and senior colleagues who often throw them tasks that they should be completing on their own but instead, they are using the juniors to do on their behalf and will take their credits upon completion. That is the typical scenario of how a toxic workplace culture you will experience if you are currently in one of these companies. However, it is not easy to say no especially if you are a fresh graduate straight out of a university, you would find it hard to adapt and your mental health could suffer and deteriorate especially if you are having trouble confiding to anyone in the company or your loved ones and friends lest they are worried for you. If you have a secure attachment family background, high chance you will discuss openly with your parents or family members on how to navigate such situations. However, most of us would have to find ways to survive or else in the long run, if we do get burned out, it will have an impact on our personal lives to the point of affecting our daily functioning. From a curious and willing worker to an unmotivated and dreadful worker, going to work is such a chore – meaningless where individuals would feel like getting the jobs done and getting out of the office as soon as possible.

To stay or to go?

If you are currently going through the above scenario, this is the crossroad that you are at now and you must decide for yourself as an adult and no longer a child seeking assurance from others or caregivers to finalise a decision. You need to make an informed decision and gauge the estimated cost and consequences of staying in such a company or moving on. There are four factors that you must look at to help you decide wisely whether to stay on or move on – what you love (your passion), what you’re good at (your vocation), what the world needs (your mission), what you can be paid for (your profession). All these factors are derived from Ikigai, the Japanese term referring to the ‘life purpose’ which defines your meaning of life concerning your talents, passions, professions, and contributions to the wider world. This term ‘Ikigai’ has helped many individuals to discover or rediscover the meaning they can create for their lives instead of living day by day meaninglessly. 

What you love (your passion)

Find out the kind of activities that make your heartbeat and the kind of activities that you dislike. It is what you enjoy the most and perhaps something you would do even if you weren’t getting paid for it.

Reflection question: “If you are working, do you have an emotional connection to your work results? “Are you absorbed in your work?”.

What you’re good at (your vocation)

Skills and strengths refer to those you naturally excel at while they may not come as easily to others such as creating music, writing, solving math, showing empathy, or active listening. Identifying your vocation helps you to tap into your special skills that deserve recognition.

Reflection question: “Do people ask you for advice on topics for your work?”, “Are there parts of your job that come easily to you? “Are you/Do you want to be an expert at what you do?”

What the world needs (your mission)

This helps you explore the needs of the world and where you can make a difference. Are there problems or challenges in your community or the world you feel passionate about solving? Identify them. That is your mission.

Reflection question: “Imagine 10 or 100 years later, would your work still be valuable?”, “Is your work considered a high demand in your workplace?”

What you can be paid for (your profession)

Your profession is where you look at how to make a living from your passion and mission. For example, if you’re a talented pianist who believes the world would be a better place if more people played music, you could begin to teach piano lessons. Turning your passion and mission into your profession can take time to develop. Trust the process.

Reflection question: “Are there people getting paid for the same work you are doing?”, “Do you make a good living out of your work or eventually will do so? 

I hope the idea of Ikigai can benefit you as well. This link https://ikigaitest.com/en-personality-test/ is for your discovery and if you need an expert to explore and help you become more self-aware about yourself and the meaning of life, please feel free to book a counselling session with me at www.thecounsellingplace.com to work collaboratively on how to embrace yourself in the workplace despite of politics and cultures surrounding it.