by Kim Bartholdi
Clinical Psychologist

Are you shy? It might be social anxiety

Do you often feel uncomfortable in social situations? Do people who know you describe you as shy or stand offish? Sometimes what we call shyness can go a bit further and have a bigger impact on our lives than we think. Sometimes what we call shyness is actually social anxiety. Social anxiety and shyness are terms that are often used interchangeably, but they are actually distinct conditions with different characteristics, causes, and impacts on an individual's life. While both social anxiety and shyness include discomfort or uneasiness in social situations, they differ in their underlying causes, symptoms, and treatment approaches. In order to better understand this, it can be helpful to look at both of them separately.

Shyness: what is it?

Shyness is a personality trait characterized by a general reluctance to interact with others, often due to feelings of self-consciousness or fear of being rejected. People who are shy may feel comfortable in small, familiar groups or one-on-one situations, but may feel overwhelmed in large groups or new social settings. Shyness is not necessarily accompanied by intense fear or panic, and individuals who are shy are usually able to function well in social situations despite their discomfort.

What about Social Anxiety?

Social anxiety disorder (SAD), also known as social phobia, is a mental health condition characterized by excessive and persistent fear of social or performance situations in which the person is exposed to possible judgement by others. People with SAD often experience intense fear of social interactions due to concerns about being judged, evaluated, or embarrassed. This can lead to significant distress and individuals with SAD tend to avoid social situations, leading to an impairment in daily life including difficulties at work, school, or in personal relationships.

They sound very similar, so what are the differences between them?

While both shyness and social anxiety can cause discomfort in social situations, there are several key differences between the two:

1. There is a difference in intensity.

SAD is typically characterized by an intense fear in response to social situations, whereas shyness is generally characterized by mild to moderate discomfort.

2. The duration:

Social anxiety disorder is a persistent condition that can last years, while shyness may be a more situational or developmental issue which can change with age.

3. The way it manifests behaviourally:

People with SAD tend to avoid social situations sometimes altogether, whereas those who are shy may simply feel uncomfortable or hesitant but still engage in socially.

4. The underlying causes:

Social anxiety disorder is often linked to psychological factors such as low self-esteem, trauma, or past negative experiences, whereas shyness may be more closely tied to personality traits such as introversion.

5. The impact on everyday life:

Social anxiety disorder can significantly impair daily functioning and

6. interpersonal relationships,

while shyness may be more of a nuisance than an incapacitating condition.

Could I have both at the same time?

Like with many other psychological conditions, it is possible to present with more than one at the same time. It's common for individuals to experience both shyness and social anxiety simultaneously. In fact, according to recent studies, up to 30% of individuals with social anxiety disorder also exhibit shy behaviour. If you think you might have social anxiety, let me tell you you’re not alone. A global prevalence rate of 7.4% was reported in a 2017 meta-analysis of 36 studies. And according to The Singapore Mental Health Study (2010), 4.5% of the population aged 18-65 experience social anxiety disorder. It has been estimated that the population in Singapore that experience the higher prevalence of SAD is aged 15 to 24 with 6.1%. 

I think I’m socially anxious, so what can I do about it?

Given that social anxiety disorder is very common and there has been a lot of researched done about it, there is help available if you believe you might be presenting with it and there things you can try yourself. So, if you think you might be experiencing social anxiety, here are some steps you can take:

1. Recognize your symptoms: Take some time to reflect on your experiences and identify the situations that make you feel anxious or uncomfortable. Are there specific situations or environments that trigger your anxiety? DO you feel anxious with certain people or groups of people?

2. Keep a journal: Keeping a journal can help you track your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours and it can help you determine the situations that trigger your anxiety. To make keeping a journal more effective, write down the situations that trigger your anxiety, how you react to them, and any strategies you use to cope.

3. Practice relaxation techniques: There are various relaxation techniques that can help reduce anxiety, such as deep breathing and meditation exercises. The more consistent you are with these practices, the more you will learn to regulate the anxiety.

4. Seek professional help: Consult with a mental health professional, such as a therapist/counsellor/psychologist who specializes in anxiety disorders. They can help you diagnose and treat social anxiety disorder.

What are the types of treatments?

The type of treatment that your therapist / counsellor / psychologist suggests will depend on your individual difficulty and on your own personal therapy goals. Here I have listed a few treatment approaches commonly used for treating social anxiety disorder as well as shyness.

1. Cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT): CBT is a helpful approach for individuals with shyness or social anxiety disorder. It helps individuals identify and challenge negative thought patterns and unhelpful behaviours that contribute to their anxiety or discomfort.

2. Social skills training: Social skills training can help individuals improve their communication skills and build confidence in social situations. This treatment is usually employed for treating shyness but in the case of social anxiety disorder it can also be combined with CBT depending on the case.

3. Medications: In severe cases of social anxiety disorder, medications such as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) may be prescribed to help alleviate symptoms.

Either way, you will first need to be assessed by a mental health professional in order to identify whether your suspicion about having social anxiety is correct. During your initial consultation with a therapist/counsellor/psychologist, they will ask questions to help determine and diagnosis of your condition and suggest a treatment plan.

Conclusion

In conclusion, while both shyness and social anxiety are uncomfortable experiences for many individuals, they have distinct differences in terms of intensity, duration, behavioural manifestations, underlying causes, and impact on daily life. Understanding these differences is crucial for accurate diagnosis and effective treatment. By recognizing the signs and symptoms of each condition, individuals can seek appropriate support and interventions to improve their quality of life and overcome their discomfort in social situations. Social anxiety disorder is a common mental health condition that affects a significant proportion of the population. It is a treatable condition, and seeking professional help can make a significant difference in an individual's quality of life. If you think you might have social anxiety don't hesitate to seek help when you need it. Book an appointment with me to explore your concerns today!