By Natasha Larkin

Counsellor / Career Coach

Teen Anxiety defined

According to the Oxford Dictionary, anxiety is “ the state of feeling nervous or worried that something bad is going to happen”. (anxiety noun - Definition, pictures, pronunciation and usage notes | Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary at OxfordLearnersDictionaries.com). Anxiety can happen as a reaction to an incident or event but it continues after the incident has passed. It can also happen prior to an event. Anxiety can feel and look like stress. According to the Oxford Dictionary, Stress is pressure or worry caused by problems in somebody’s life or by having too much to do (stress noun - Definition, pictures, pronunciation and usage notes | Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary at OxfordLearnersDictionaries.com). Anxiety is common in pre-teens and teen years because they are going through physical, emotional and social change all at the same time.

The key is to help them manage their anxiety but not be too overprotective in an attempt to do it for them. By listening attentively, you’re already providing a great deal of support. Providing positive feedback will encourage your teen to feel more capable. Each time a goal is reached, you can say “I’m so proud of the way you handled the situation and worked through your anxiety.” Modelling a healthy approach to life can also teach your children valuable lessons. Try to remain calm and patient as possible when dealing with problems and challenging situations. The way you speak and what you speak about, can also have a huge influence on even a difficult teenager’s values and behaviour.

Symptoms of Teen Anxiety

So, if you see your teen feeling worried or hesitant or even dreading something, then it is time to help or seek support. It is important as the parent to know anxiety can be helpful because these feelings of uncertainty can help prepare them be ready for an event or learn coping skills that can be used many times again. You can help them find solutions to their problems. Anxiety in teenagers are not always obvious as they can hide their thoughts and feelings when something is new and not understood. You can look out for behaviour like:

• Constant fears or worries about routine aspects of their lives.

• Withdrawal from friends or social activities.

• Irritability or lashing out at others.

• Difficulties in school or sudden poor performance.

• Refusal to go to school.

• Sleep problems.

• Substance abuse.

• Constantly seeking reassurance

• And more…

Supporting Teen Anxiety

Firstly, please let them know that these feelings are real, you understand and you believe they can handle this situation by showing your compassion. Let them know anxiety is something that happens and is not something they are.

Secondly, ask them if they think something bad is going to happen or are they finding it hard to cope with a situation. Then ask further questions about what physical reactions they are having with that feeling like feeling a stiffness, feeling tense, feeling buttlerflies, feeling sweaty or even maybe feeling like vomiting. Other symptoms you can look at are higher heart rates and muscle tension. This allows you to provide comfort around those symptoms.

Once you learn of the potential reason, let them know they are brave and provide some like situations that you have delt with if you can. This may help provide a plan or solutions for their issue. Help build their coping skills.

You can help them find a local support group, talk to someone they trust, try grounding techniques, do self-soothing activities and practice self-care. Consider healthy food, breathing, exercise and being mindful.

Deep breathing initiates a relaxation response. Simple breathing can bring the symptoms of anxiety to a manageable or closed solution alone. Once you start breathing, your body can take over and do the work for you.

Anxiety happens when part of the brain called the ‘amygdala’ thinks it needs to protect you. Reading the Article “What Part of the Brain deals with Anxiety? What can brains affected by Anxiety tell us?” (What Part of the Brain Deals With Anxiety? What Can Brains Affected by Anxiety Tell us? (brainfacts.org), is helpful to know the stronger the connections between the amygdala and pre-frontal cortex can help calm things down during anxiety. So by teaching the brain to stay in the present can help stop your teen by worrying further. Mindfulness is an excellent way to exercise the brain.

Treatment for Teen Anxiety

According to the ‘Child Mind Institute Children’s Mental Health Report’, it looks at just how widespread child and adolescent anxiety disorders and shares “anxiety disorders are the most common of all child and adolescent mental health disorders, both in the United States and around the world. Untreated, many subtypes persist into adulthood” (p.4 CMI_2018CMHR.pdf (childmind.org). Therefore, there is strong consideration for seeking professional counselling support for your child’s anxiety with a psychologist, counsellor, or psychotherapist.

Cognitive Based Therapy (CBT) is a technique helping the child address their anxiety and fears in a safe place within a controlled environment that I use as a Counsellor. CBT focuses on learning specific skills to improve symptoms and gradually return to the activities they have avoided because of anxiety. CBT includes exposure therapy, where they gradually encounter the situation that triggers the anxiety, then build confidence where they can manage the situation and anxiety symptoms for the future. Anxiety can come and go and for some, it can exist for a long time. It may even happen in situations where you would not normally expect to feel anxious. This can end up having a big impact on their daily lives. The good news is there are things you can do and ways you can gain support.